Sa'matri'yoni

Sa'matri'yoni is my imagination. It comes from three Sanskrit words...
Sa: more than one fused together
matri: maa or Mother or the Creator
yoni: womb or source or origin

"Sa'matri'yoni" is thus a tribute to the Creator...to the Mother...to Nature.
Sa'matri'yoni is my way of looking at life. Its a blend of reality and imagination. A thousand thoughts put together...a million images assembled into one... Its about my world, your world...and our lives!



Tuesday, May 1, 2012

The Truth

Integrate the moments you have lived...you will get your Life!
Differentiate Life...the moments of your Life flash before your eyes.

Tell me...What do you see?

expressing had always been my forte...until....i was convinced to believe that its best to remain silent. Silence is no longer golden. Today, Silence is Strength. 
Your fears, your anguish...your tears... if you express yourself...expressions label you W-E-A-K. 
Funnily enough...even your joy should remain confined within you. Your joy is your's...alone. Why bother others with it!
So what do we do... do we become a social recluse?
No.
We socialise selectively, closely adhering to social protocols.
We behave the way we are expected to behave. We say what is wished to be heard. We do what we are supposed to do. We pretend. 

We are forever confined within our self-imposed norms of expectations. We harness our emotional energy to give birth to a social paradigm which enforces the Law of Lifelessness in living entities.

An expressionless existence...punctured in the heart with a silent silver bullet...
We are doomed to be alone...an individual trapped within his/her own self. We are prisoners of our existence...waiting to be set free from the shackles of Life.

A Divine Gift...we have turned into a self-inflicted curse.

and then...
I close my eyes and differentiate my Life....darkness closes in on me.


Tuesday, March 13, 2012

The Search...


Perhaps its human to search for the Old in the New. New places, new people, new emotions...we always try to look for familiarities. Memories are like set-points in our life's system and we keep adjusting our life's variables to somehow attain this pre-assigned set-point. 
I know not if this is right or wrong....i don't know if our past should be given so much power...so much power that it can influence our present...i confess i do not know. then again, i presume that this influence varies from person to person.


Perhaps when we search for familiarity in the New we do so to adjust ourselves easily and fit into the New. The New often comes accompanied with the Unknown...so maybe our attempt to fit in and be comfortable is aided by searching for something familiar, something known in the unfamiliar surroundings. This search is perhaps primarily for comfort.


The following is a short note that i'd written in December last year....in a somewhat unfamiliar environment whilst missing a similar place far away in time and place.


A new place...strange familiarity...
As if the old had never left...just changed.
Miles away...
Yet the same feeling...
Familiarity knocks on my door.
Winter winds...a cup of stale coffee...
Miles apart yet similar...
As if the old had never ceased to be... Just changed...




A different junction...a new place...
Yet emotions remain the same...
Eyes search for the same faces, the same voices... But none of them remain...
A change...yes... Only of time n place...
Emotions....they still remain the same.


an attempt at translating the above into bengali (first attempt ever)


sob e natun...natun lagche aj sob
tao jeno sob e lage chena...
jeno purono kichui sesh hoyni...
bodleche, kintu chole jayni...
dur theke durante chole geche...
tobu onubhuti gulor rong paltayeni ajo...
chena sriti jeno aj dakche amay.
sei ek e thanda batash...sei ek e purono coffee...
tobu koto dure...onek dure...
jeno purono kichui sesh hoyni...palteche sudhu...


ek natun more...ek natun jayga...
onubhuti...chetona...ajo sei ek e rokhom...
ami khuje cholechi sei purono sob kichu...sei sob chena mukh...
ja chilo chena seta hariye geche aj...
palte geche onek kichu...
jayga palteche...somoy palteche...
tobu paltayeni sei mon....paltayeni sei onubhutir sporsho.





Sunday, January 29, 2012

A New Me

Life is about changes...so much so that people often say that "change is the only constant"...

Its that time again...
Its time to change.
Darkness beckons me...
and all Light is in vain.

There may be no return...I shall not sway.
I choose to take this path.
The other road, i have travelled much
but have never found a way.

I shall be that part of me...
That which lies somewhere deep.
I'll let my heart unleash its wrath.
yes, I shall take the Dark Path.


Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Through the viewfinder


Glimpses of Kolkata through my viewfinder....


After the winter rain on a New Year morning...


P.S. Victoria was a woman, n hence the pink theme :P


A thousand words...innumerable thoughts...and some memories...all rushed through my mind when my eyes captured this frame through my cam's viewfinder....


Sharing with you some moments, stolen from my mind.


I was never fond of flowers....but this, somehow, changed my mind!


A bunch of flowers...love and joy galore...
and a precious smile in return!

Sharing in itself makes one feel good...n happy inside...
and sharing what i see with the world is an even better feeling... :-)


Monday, November 14, 2011

The Last One...


some things remain incomplete forever.... perhaps they are meant to be that way... and we have to accept them as such...

the uneasy feeling of incompleteness gnaws our soul...we burn inside in the fire of the desire to be complete again...a desire than can never come true...a wish that is destined to remain unfulfilled forever....
...n still try to be happy...try to live...hoping that some day peace would descend on us...someday our prayers will be answered.

...and then one day....life becomes irrelevant....and the prayer changes...the wish changes....

.....My Prayer...My Last Wish...

".....bring me closer to the End
take me closer to you...
End my pain...

In those last few moments of Life...
I shall find peace...solace...
My wings shall be reborn...
N i shall fly...
Free.
In those last few moments....
I shall find
Me.

I will smile one last smile...
The one smile in so many years...
N the world shall smile at me...
Contentment...on its face.

I shall care no more..
No worldly treasures can touch me again...
I shall be at peace...

In my last breath i shall smile...for
I shall be forever free....
with You near me...

Take me closer to You...
Take me closer to my peace...
Take me closer to the End."


Friday, November 11, 2011

Rockstar: My Take




"Ting linga linga lina...
ting linga linga ling...."




"Rockstar"....is much more than what meets the eye. It is the story of Jordan, the Rockstar \m/ .....yet it is more than the rags to riches story of a simple Delhi boy who had always had the dream of being a music sensation.
It is the story of a boy who used to audition relentlessly and face rejection every single time for not having the "zing" or the persona of a Star. It is the story of a boy who was told that the only thing that could make him stand out...make him a true Rockstar...is PAIN. Intense pain. And so...off goes the boy...in search of the same.
And then...one day, the Rockstar breaks down...

This fame, this success...i don't want any of it. Just don't let my heart break...please... he pleads.

"...Katiya karoon Katiya karoon
Tera roo katiya karoon
 Tera roo tera roo tera roo roo roo..."

Rockstar is a love story...enveloped in the tale of the meteoric rise of a music sensation.
This movie explores love in a different way altogether.
Janardhan Jakhar, a simple Delhi boy, fishing for a heartbreak...which according to his mentor is the only way to become a true-blue Rockstar like his idol Jim Morrison...is drawn towards the beautiful sophisticated and curious Heer.

Friendship takes a deep plunge and transforms companionship into love.
Circumstances drift them apart...and it is again these circumstances that bring them together...only to part them yet again...
Eventually his love for Heer breaks him apart...completely.

Jordan evolves... "The unshaven, troubled, defiant, long-haired music sensation with a peculiar, rustic wardrobe, the making of Janardhan Jakhar to Jordan is an offshoot of his fickle equation with the woman he loves."

He had once expressed his amazement as to why an entire crowd applauded Morrison when he raised his middle finger in public.... and then one day, he, himself, raises his finger and proclaims....

"...Sadda Haq Aithe Rakh..."

This is a story of transformation through the experience of pain. Pain may not be a welcome emotion. Yet it is a part of our existence. Some perceive it to the extent of making it their life...while some live though it all and try to look at the sunshine rather than the clouds in the sky.
Jordan looks at the clouds. Perhaps he is too emotional...perhaps he is too sensitive. From a boy who had never had the chance to worry about his basic necessities...had a family...a life... Janardhan seeks out pain and lives it to be successful. In the end his success eats him up...his pain gnaws him from inside...and he says..
am not happy inside...ander ek jalan si hai...

It is neither a standalone story about the rise-of-an-underdog who goes on to become one of the  biggest rockstars ever nor is it merely a love story with a rockstar backdrop. The director somewhere attempts to correlate the rockstar's rise with his romance. There is a constant play in the narrative which moves backwards then forwards then again backward and finally stops in the present. The first half opens on a very high note... and the film ends with the same sequence. But this time its a different note...there is an overtone of sadness, of pain...of loss...

There is a sense of a desire for reconciliation with one's true identity. There is a sense of the desire for true happiness. There is a sense of a desire for love that is slipping away with every heartbeat.
Jordan sings...
"O Nadaan Parindey ghar aaja
O Nadaan Parindey ghar aaja"

The director, Imtiaz Ali, tells a story of love, loss, pain and treacherous success in an intricate way. The storytelling is crisp. Anil Mehta's cinematography is brilliant. And, needless to say, A.R. Rahman's music gives the movie its life. The storytelling could have been a little less intricate. It does add to the brisk movement of the movie in the first half but somewhat makes the second half stretch a bit. But the overall effect is impressive.
Ranbir has done complete justice to Jordan...he has performed brilliantly. A true Rockstar! New-comer  Nargis Fakhri has great screen presence and Shammi Kapoor is the surprise element of the film.

The end comes just as you start wondering as to how the director plans to end it. The end is completely justified. It has a sense of incompleteness...just the way Jordan's life is...incomplete...

The movie is a simple tale of success...which is rendered useless in the absence of love...in the absence of true happiness....
...andar ek jalan si hai...


"Jo bhi main...
kehna chahu...
bardaad kare...alfaz mere.... alfaz mere......."